Themself and themselves are both correct, but they are used in different situations. Themselves is the traditional reflexive pronoun for plural subjects, while themself is increasingly accepted for a singular they when referring to one person whose gender is unknown or who uses they/them pronouns.
Have you ever paused while writing a sentence and wondered, Should I write themself or themselves? You’re not alone. I still remember editing one of my first grammar articles and stopping at the sentence, “Each student should prepare themself before the exam.” It looked strange at first because I had always learned that themselves was the only correct form.
The more I researched, the more I realized that English keeps changing. As singular they became common in everyday speech and formal writing, themself also began appearing in dictionaries and style guides. That surprised me because many people still believe it is a mistake.
This small difference causes confusion for students, writers, teachers, and even experienced editors. Some people want to sound grammatically correct, while others want to write in a way that feels modern and inclusive.
If you’ve ever been unsure which word belongs in your sentence, you’re in the right place. By the end of this guide, you’ll know when to use themself, when themselves is the better choice, and why both forms exist in modern English.
Themself or Themselves – Quick Answer
The easiest way to remember the difference is this:
- Use themselves for two or more people.
- Use themself when they refers to one person and you want a singular reflexive pronoun.
- If you’re writing for a broad audience, themselves is still the safer choice because it remains more familiar to many readers.
Examples
✅ The players congratulated themselves after the match.
✅ Every applicant should ask themself this question before applying.
✅ Someone left themself a reminder on the whiteboard.
Notice that the first example refers to several people, while the second and third refer to only one person.
The Origin / Background of Themself or Themselves
The word themselves has been part of English for hundreds of years. It developed naturally as the reflexive form of they when talking about more than one person.
For a long time, English speakers also used they to refer to one person when the person’s gender was unknown.
For example:
If anyone calls, tell them I’ll be back soon.
Although this sounds completely natural today, it created one small problem.
If they could refer to one person, what should the reflexive form be?
Many writers simply continued using themselves.
For example:
Every student should prepare themselves.
Over time, some writers felt that using a plural-looking reflexive for one person seemed inconsistent. They began using themself instead.
This isn’t a brand-new invention. Historical examples of themself appear in English writing from centuries ago. However, the form became much more common in recent decades as singular they gained wider acceptance.
Today, both forms appear in modern English, although themselves is still used more often.
Themself or Themselves Explained : Key Differences
Although these words look almost identical, they serve slightly different purposes.
| Term | Meaning | When to Use | Region/Context |
| Themself | Singular reflexive pronoun | One person using singular they | Modern English, inclusive writing |
| Themselves | Plural reflexive pronoun | Two or more people | Standard English worldwide |
| Themselves | Singular reflexive (traditional use) | One person with singular they | Still common in many publications |
Understanding “Themself”
Use themself when you’re clearly talking about one individual.
Example:
Jordan introduced themself to the new manager.
Jordan is one person, so themself matches the singular meaning.
Another example:
Every customer should ask themself whether the purchase is necessary.
Here, every customer refers to one person at a time.
Understanding “Themselves”
Use themselves whenever the subject is plural.
Examples:
The children dressed themselves before breakfast.
The employees organized themselves into teams.
These sentences describe actions performed by multiple people.
Why Do Both Forms Exist?
English doesn’t always follow perfect patterns.
When singular they became widely accepted, many writers naturally wanted a singular reflexive pronoun. That encouraged the use of themself.
Others preferred keeping the traditional form themselves, even when referring to one person.
As a result, modern English now accepts both in many situations involving singular they.
Which One Sounds More Natural?
The answer depends on your audience.
- Themselves sounds more familiar because people have seen it for generations.
- Themself feels more logically singular.
- Many modern style guides recognize themself, especially in inclusive or identity-respecting writing.
- Traditional academic writing may still favor themselves with singular they.
The good news is that most readers understand both forms without confusion.
Quick Memory Trick
Think of it like this:
- Many people → themselves
- One person (singular they) → themself (or themselves if following a traditional style guide)
Ask yourself one simple question:
Am I talking about one person or several people?
That answer will usually lead you to the correct choice.
Which Version Should You Use?
The best choice depends on who you’re writing for and what style of English you’re using.
For students
Use themselves unless your teacher or style guide says otherwise. It is the form most students learn first and is accepted everywhere.
Example:
Every student should prepare themselves before the test.
For professional writing
If you’re writing reports, emails, or business documents, themselves is usually the safest option because it is familiar to most readers.
Example:
Each employee should introduce themselves during the meeting.
For inclusive writing
If a person uses they/them pronouns or you’re referring to one person with singular they, themself is perfectly appropriate and increasingly accepted.
Example:
Taylor described themself as a lifelong learner.
For global audiences
If your readers come from different countries or backgrounds, themselves is often the better choice because it is widely recognized.
My recommendation
- ✅ Plural subject → themselves
- ✅ Singular they (modern, inclusive writing) → themself
- ✅ Unsure or writing for a general audience → themselves
Common Mistakes with Themself or Themselves
Here are mistakes many English learners make.
| ❌ Mistake | ✅ Correct |
| Every student should prepare theirselves. | Every student should prepare themself or themselves. |
| The boys hurt themself. | The boys hurt themselves. |
| Jordan introduced themselves. (if following singular modern preference) | Jordan introduced themself. |
| The team blamed themself. (when referring to multiple members) | The team blamed themselves. |
| Everyone should help his or herself. (less natural today) | Everyone should help themself or themselves. |
Why these mistakes happen
- People confuse singular and plural subjects.
- Many grew up hearing only themselves.
- Singular they is becoming more common, so older grammar habits sometimes clash with modern usage.
Themself or Themselves in Real-World Examples
Seeing these words in everyday writing makes them easier to remember.
Professional email
Every new employee should introduce themself during the orientation session.
News article
The witness described themself as being near the scene when the accident happened.
Social media post
Sometimes you have to remind yourself: or rather, themself if you’re talking about someone else: to take a break.
Formal report
Each participant evaluated themself before completing the final assessment.
Everyday conversation
Someone forgot to bring their lunch, so they’ll have to make themself a sandwich.
Themself or Themselves : Data, Trends & Usage
Interest in themself has grown steadily over the past decade.
Here are a few reasons why:
- Singular they is now widely accepted in modern English.
- Many workplaces and schools encourage inclusive language.
- Writers want grammar that matches the meaning of a singular subject.
- Dictionaries now include themself as a valid word.
Search intent
People searching “themself or themselves” usually want to know:
- Which word is correct.
- Whether themself is a real word.
- Which version works in formal writing.
- How singular they affects grammar.
Why this matters today
Language changes over time. Understanding both forms helps you write naturally, communicate respectfully, and avoid unnecessary grammar mistakes.
Comparison Table
| Term/Variant | Meaning | Region/Context | Best Used When |
| Themself | Singular reflexive pronoun | Modern English, inclusive writing | Referring to one person using singular they |
| Themselves | Plural reflexive pronoun | Standard English worldwide | Referring to two or more people |
| Themselves | Traditional singular reflexive | Formal and traditional writing | Singular they where a conservative style is preferred |
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What does “themself” mean?
A: Themself is a singular reflexive pronoun used with singular they. It refers back to one person instead of several people.
Q: Is “themself” a real word?
A: Yes. Major dictionaries recognize themself. Although it is less common than themselves, it is accepted in modern English, especially in inclusive writing.
Q: Which is correct: themself or themselves?
A: Both are correct. Themselves is the standard plural form, while themself is used when they refers to one person.
Q: Can I use “themself” in formal writing?
A: Yes, if your organization or style guide accepts singular they and inclusive language. Otherwise, themselves remains a safe choice.
Q: Why do some people dislike “themself”?
A: Many people learned traditional grammar where themselves was used for every case involving they. As language evolves, themself has become more widely accepted.
Q: Is “themselves” wrong for one person?
A: No. Many respected writers and publishers still use themselves with singular they. It remains grammatically acceptable in many contexts.
Q: Can “themself” be used for someone who uses they/them pronouns?
A: Yes. Many people who use they/them pronouns also prefer themself because it clearly refers to one person. However, personal preference always comes first.
Conclusion
Choosing between themself and themselves doesn’t have to be confusing. The most important thing is understanding who you’re talking about. If you’re referring to more than one person, themselves is always the correct choice. When you’re talking about one person using singular they, themself is a modern and widely accepted option.
Remember that English is always changing. Words and grammar evolve as the way we communicate changes. That’s why you’ll now see themself in dictionaries, books, newspapers, and professional writing. At the same time, themselves remains common and perfectly acceptable, especially in traditional or formal styles.
If you’re ever unsure, think about your audience and choose the form that matches your writing style. Consistency is just as important as correctness.
Now you know exactly how to use themself or themselves. Bookmark this guide, practice these examples, and share it with someone who’s still unsure about the difference.
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Ifrah Maqsood is an English author passionate about creating articles that inspire and engage users.
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